Fear of blindness

I stumble through the usual life, battling brutally raw grief. It is a constant furious force, gouging exposed wounds.

The finality is insulting. Nothing at all will bring my baby back. I have flimsy memories; I have a heart wrecked, ripped and bleeding.

I am less than I was and will ever be. I am a grieving parent.

Amidst my desolate brokenness, I am desperate for God. He hears my groans, my magnified sadness. He turns towards me. He provides sanctuary for my weary soul.

Hear me, oh Lord. Without your light, the darkness would blind me.

13 thoughts on “Fear of blindness

  1. Grieving for your whole family, Mark… I have Judah’s picture on my fridge and see your dear boy’s face every single day. Love to all of you with healing prayers.

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  2. God knows your grief Mark and He The Mighty Father will take care of your baby until you finish your work for Him here, then you will all be united with our Lord. I’m praying for you and your wife, loosing a child must be the hardest thing to handle. God Bless you. ❤️️🙏


  3. I pray for you, Christi and your family every night, and throughout the day when I think of you. May God continue to comfort you all and bring you peace and healing. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏


  4. I hear you loud and clear, Mark. I, too, am grieving the loss of my son. He was barely 27 years old when he decided to take His own life on February 10 of this year. It was a total shock to me, my husband, and our other son, his brother.
    I am hanging on to God’s promises and longing for the day when he takes me home.
    27 years old seems like an adult from one perspective, but he was my baby and I was looking forward to his future.


  5. I’m praying for you and your wife I can’t imagine the grief. I also know God has a reason for everything He does. It’s hard to see many times but we walk by faith not by sight as you said. Job was a good and faithful servant and God replaced all he lost let’s stand in agreement that God will replace what your family has lost.


  6. I can’t imagine the pain.
    I was list in my own grief and sin, and I didn’t follow what happened. But anyway you lose a child is a terrible loss, I am so sorry. May God hold you and your family tight.


  7. I wish time could be reversed. I wish children didn’t leave us. I wish parents passed first, as they are supposed to in the natural order of life.

    I wish every child had a lifespan that sees prom, college graduation, first job, children, mid-life crises, a second-calling, faith, life, and grandchildren. But, more so, I wish that we could see Heaven all around us, for peace and certainty when we are called to carry on.

    You created life…Judah: cherished, precious, important, world-changing, unique. Nothing can take away his place in our world. God wouldn’t create such a magnificent being without knowing that He was creating him for forever.

    I wish God would come down and say, I’m holding your precious boy…for you, when you are called.

    I wish Judah’s physical presence was still in our world.

    I wish anyone had the right words…when we simply don’t, but we care so much about you.

    I pray that God holds you spiritually, when the physical world falters in our ability to do so.

    I wish you know how much you are loved and how much your spiritual guidance means every day to countless people…how much we pray for your Judah…and how thankful we are for your family and for this beautiful boy who graced our world for too short a time.


  8. My girl left n my world collapsed. My hopes dashed my expectations cut off.God you’re my hope but Doris was an only child where do l start from.At 52,l had her when l was 30.At old age no one to take care of me. Just graduated at 22,spent 6days @home after graduation. Oh my God,where do l start from.As a single parent,we shared everything,my partner, my confidant. Oh the Church prayed,the doctors didn’t understand. There was confusion in the air n you sang’It is raining all around me’little did l know that you were going.Oh Lord help me.


  9. I’m just about my future and my family this coming christmas i have nothing to give to my orphan friends who are now in a orphanage please jesus help me


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