The endless injury

20180819-IMG_4825 (1)My wife Christi is a runner.  She runs most days and presently is getting up to 10 miles on a single run.  A couple of months back while doing some strength training she injured her leg.  Nothing too serious, but most folks including myself would have taken a break.  Not Christi, she kept running, albeit reducing her miles, slowing her pace and stretching much more.  Her tenacity shone forth, pushing through the discomfort and sometimes pain to complete her daily run.

Eventually it fully healed and she is now ramping up to the pre-injury pace and workload.  But there is one injury that will never heal, for her or me, the passing of our 3-year-old boy, Judah Levi Brown. We are coming up to 2 years since he died (Sept 26th) and each day, each moment without him remains brutally hard.

We carry an endless injury with us.  Though we get on with life, truthfully we are hampered, some moments worse than others.  When I see a video of him or hear a recording of his voice or when I notice

21371061_10209984625076662_5014723391614795435_nhis small grey converse high tops, my mind fills with memories, the loss swamps my heart and I am again overwhelmed with sadness. In these moments domestic life pauses. I never ignore it, allowing my intense love for Judah to find expression in my grief, my guttural, painful tears.

Eventually, I compose myself, wipe my face clean and trudge back to the many tasks of life.  Forever grateful Juju is waiting in Heaven but

forever injured.

 

17 thoughts on “The endless injury

  1. There are just no words. As always, your entire family remains in my heart and in my prayers.
    God bless and keep you all. You’re an inspiration for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your loss was so great. We pray for your way forward, and Christi’s and that of your family. May you continue to find strength. Prayers. Jan

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  3. I look forward to your word, every day. Some days, your word is the only way I find comfort. You and your family are in my prayers. God bless y’all.

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  4. Oh my heart 💔. I am more than sad for you and your family and for others who have faced the same. I just can’t imagine. I will continue to pray for all who have faced one of life’s most tragic events.

    Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

  5. God Bless You Pastor Mark, I pray for God’s comforting in Your pain and heartbreak …. my heart aches for You and Christi…sending up prayers for you both and also on prayer site I use …comfort, love and prayers for you both

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  6. I’m so sorry….I do keep you & your family in prayer continually. I pray for the peace that surpasses all understanding for you & your family…..God Bless You all.

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  7. Dear Mark, I feel for you and your family, even knowing that you will see them in heaven, grief is a terribly painful thing. It is hard enough for me as an adult living with the loss of my father but the pain of losing a child is un imaginable. I will continue to pray for you and your family living through this. Love and blessings to you all x

    Liked by 1 person

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